Readers’ Top 10
You have voted! Out of the daily topical jokes written during 2019, here are your favourites, according to ‘likes’ and shares on SM. Premises taken from news headlines and cover politics, science, religion, health and entertainment. There is no particular agenda, except to find the funny. Thanks for all the support and hope you enjoyed these jokes as much as I have writing them.
Readers’ Top 10
- What would a city designed by women be like?
Less phallic architecture, more toilets. #WomenRule
- For a more sustainable Christmas, give gifts you didn’t like last year to people you don’t like this year. #RecycleGifts
- Tesla Model on Autopilot crashes into police car. It should attend ‘National Speed Awareness Course’, like I did. #ArtificialIntelligence
- John Lennon’s sunglasses sell for £137,000. Imagine … there’s no possessions …? #irony
- My date with a robot? Just like any other date. Didn’t really listen to me. #RobotLove
- Pizza Express set for talks over £1bn debt. Another one bites the crust. #PizzaGate
- Why are service station snacks so expensive? Highway robbery?
- What went wrong at Jamie’s Italian? Like tortellini … it folded.
- Harry and Meghan’s home renovations cost taxpayers £2.4m.
I guess they didn’t like anything in IKEA.
- Ways to distraction-proof your mind? Stop reading this. #Focus
My Top 10
- Woman smashes pi record with 31 trillion digits. Pity she’s not even half way there. #infinity
- New apple that ‘lasts for a year’, would have given Adam & Eve more time to rethink their choices. #OriginalSin
- Study says, ‘Bring your true personality to your work’. And see how long you last.
- Study reveals world’s saddest people. They drink instant coffee? #CoffeeLover
- Brexit timetable? Ask us Catholics. Our referendum (aka Reformation) lasted 131 years. #CatholicKnowHow
- Study: ‘Women should be able to see male colleagues’ pay.’ And laugh. #gendergap
- Australian woman sues neighbours over BBQ smells.
‘It’s criminal. They overcook the meat.’ #DownUnder
- What to do if your boss is an algorithm? Switch off? #BadBoss
- Virgin Atlantic removes cabin crew make-up rule. It was lack of foundation.
- How do you get your children to listen? Make your will.
Sonia is a writer and a comedian trying to develop sustainable jokes and free-range gags.